A woman suffering from abdominal pains thinks she might be pregnant. Her doctor believes otherwise and puts her through a battery of tests. After a final examination the doctor says,” Well, I hope you like changing diapers.” Excitedly, the woman says, “So, I’m pregnant after all!” The doctor shakes his head. “No,” he says,” you’ve got colon cancer.”
Monday, Sept. 15
– 5:13 p.m.
I’m pretty whipped as I approach my
fourth chemo session for colon cancer. The last treatment was two weeks ago and
this time it has taken longer to recover. You know how it goes: nausea, zip
appetite (surprise!), tiredness, dizziness, constant diarrhea – among other side effects - and this time
around occasional bouts of fairly severe pain in my belly. I feel a like that
kid’s Bozo Bop blow-up toy that rights itself when you punch it. Except, there
is an air leakage and I’m not quite coming back up all the way.
Wednesday, we start the whole
two-and-a-half days of self-poisoning again. It’s voluntary, of course, and
reminds me of the Florida cancer-survivor friend who said of the experience,
“It was like I was fetchin’ a stick for my own whippin’.”
I’m still of good cheer, however.
Especially after I read this morning that the ancient Egyptians had their
favorite methods for treating cancer way back in 1500 B.C.
They used what they called a “fire
drill,” which was a red-hot tool that they plunged into the tumor to cauterize
it.
When you imagine that – up to and
including wriggling the hot iron poker about inside you to get it all - a
little roach poison on a slow drip doesn’t sound half so bad, you know.
*****
Tuesday, Sept. 16 – 9:37 a.m.
The Bozo Bop toy business reared its air-filled head last night.
In other words, I fell.
I was negotiating a trip to the bathroom when I was overcome by dizziness and toppled over. This is not a good thing. If I broke a hip or something during this period I’d really be up the creek.
In other words, I fell.
I was negotiating a trip to the bathroom when I was overcome by dizziness and toppled over. This is not a good thing. If I broke a hip or something during this period I’d really be up the creek.
Fortunately, another side effect may
have saved me from injury. I’ve been losing weight like crazy. I’ve gone from
177 lbs before all this started to 149. If you are into weight loss, chemo
therapy definitely works. However, unless you are a masochist, I cannot in
recommend it as a diet.
This morning I would normally drive myself to the IV Clinic for my 11:30 appointment to get my port implant setup for tomorrow and Thursday, plus get a blood test. Kathryn says no way Jose – she’s driving.
This morning I would normally drive myself to the IV Clinic for my 11:30 appointment to get my port implant setup for tomorrow and Thursday, plus get a blood test. Kathryn says no way Jose – she’s driving.
Last night’s misadventure had her up and
out of bed and by my side in an instant. When I told her this morning that I’d
probably be okay to drive she fixed me with her special Kathryn glare.
I folded.
*****
Tuesday, Sept. 16 – 4:10 p.m.
Got an urgent call from the IV clinic to immediately get myself back there. This morning’s workup showed that my blood count was way off – which
was the reason for the dizziness and last night’s tumble. They took more blood
for further tests and told me that the whole chemo thing is being kicked
forward another day.
Tomorrow morning, instead of the
prescribed poisons, I’m to get a bucket of blood and a pail of platelets. They
said it would take about three hours. The chemo treatments will commence
Thursday, assuming all goes well with the blood infusions.
The good news is that I can have a
decent dinner tonight, instead of my usual pre-chemo chicken broth and toasted
soy cheese. Plus, I get another day to recover from the last treatment.
Life is good, is it not?
Wednesday, Sept. 17 – 2:42 p.m.
They pumped me full of blood and
platelets and sent me home. The reason for the low count? Seems that the chemo
chemicals kill red blood cells as effectively as they do cancer. The dizziness
is a lot less, but still persists so I have to be careful.
Hmm. Guess I’d better cancel this
afternoon’s Tango lessons and get in a nap.
Note to self for tomorrow: Don’t forget
the special cookies.
Thursday, Sept. 18 – 8.08 a.m.
Scoffed the cookies. Heading out to face
the chemo firing squad.
No blindfold, please.
Added note: My audiobook entertainment
for today’s chemo treatment is about a bad ass European contract killer. Seemed
to fit today’s theme of hunting cancer cells and killing them. In the first
chapter he wastes seven pros who are hunting him. I’m heavily identifying with
this guy. “Kill those cancer cells, buddy!” I yell. “Kill! Kill!”
Thursday, Sept. 18 – 12.46 p.m.
Back home. So far no terrible effects –
except the usual: even water tastes lousy. Especially cold water. How do you
figure that?
Nap time.
*****
Friday, Sept. 19 – 2.24 p.m.
Nap time blended into a long period of
in and out dozing and listening to audiobooks. Went in for the second session
this morning, remembering the “special cookies” ploy. It works.
Now I have my Cadd pump recharged and it
is gleefully going about its poisoning duties until it runs out at 11 a.m.
tomorrow. Then I’ll be disconnected and will be free wander around in chemo
unreality for another two weeks.
I feel oddly disconnected from the
immediate world. In a way, it’s like when I hit the midpoint of a book and I
vanish into a world of my own creation. Except, if I had created this world – this
chemo world – I’d eliminate the feeling like shit part.
Saturday, Sept. 20 – 2.28 p.m.
Woke up feeling pretty good. The CADD
pump was empty of poisons by 11 a.m. and the IV clinic nurses removed it and
sent me on my way – to return in eleven days for the next session.
The good feeling persisted all morning.
My brother stopped by, which really cheered me up and I started thinking, hey,
this ain’t too bad this time around.
Then came the old kick in the head.
Followed by a blow to the belly. Good feelings plummeted to the usual post
chemo low.
But then I thought, well at least I’ve
finished four of these sessions, which means I have eight more to go. Or, in my
Short Timer’s Calendar figuring – seven
and a wake up.
Hush, Cole. The Chemo Gods might hear
you.
Slinking back to bed now, head low,
thoughts carefully neutral so as not to draw attention to myself.
Even so – seven and a wake up! That
ain’t too…
*****
Sunday, Sept. 21
– 9:15 p.m.
It was an unpleasant night. Spent the
hours from 9 p.m. and 4 a.m. as a supplicant to the porcelain throne of
American Standard. The dizziness returned in spades.
Each journey from bedroom to bathroom
was perilous. I have a walker from when I first returned home from surgery a
few months ago. I never used it – I’d rather start the road to physical
recovery staggering around on my own pins. Now, however, Kathryn is insisting
that I use it at night. It’s not foolproof. I fell earlier in the week while
using the walker. It was like my head had suddenly jumped into a blender, went
whirr, whirr, and I toppled over backward, taking the walker with me.
I’m going to stop now to eat a little of
Kathryn’s hot blueberry soup. It’s an old
Swedish family recipe that is recommended by doctors in Sweden for
diarrhea and other lower abdominal maladies.
*****
Monday,
Sept. 22 – 1:40 p.m.
Another bad night. Almost no sleep. I’m
going to do my best to engage with the rest of the world in bits and pieces.
Read the news. See what my friends are up to on Facebook. Maybe even try to get
in some exercise.
We’ll see.
Tuesday, Sept 23 – 12:11 p.m.
It was not a good day or night.
Fortunately, I have a plentiful supply of audibooks on hand. It’s easy to
listen, but hard to read things on actual pages made from the corpses of
murdered trees. My eyes keep sliding off and the words get blurry.
However, I am feeling better this
morning. Hopefully it will last long enough for me to wrap this up.
I’ve been wanting to tell you
about my oncologist – my doctor. I’ve met a few truly inspirational people in
my life and I’m fortunate that at this moment in time to have encountered
another just when I needed them the most.
Her name is Dr. Aurea Tomeski and she is
truly a remarkable woman. Born in the Philippines, she comes from a very poor family of six sisters and two brothers. An exceptionally bright student, she won scholarships to
the University Of Santo Tomas in Manila.
Dr. Tomeski told me that even with the
scholarships, money was tight. Her father cut blocks of salt from the salt fields outside Manila and sold it to customers in town. Her mother – an exceptional
woman in her own right – started a small business across the street from the
university that catered to the students. This way she could not only earn a
living – but her daughter could walk to school, come home for lunch, and help
out at the store run by her mom and dad and the rest of the family. Her mom
expanded the business to include rooms for other students and in this manner
her daughter eventually won her degree, then went on to gain entrance to the
medical school and become a doctor. Dr. Tomeski did her internship in the U.S., then there were residencies in the Philippines, New Jersey and
Albany.
Now, here is where it gets really
interesting. During this time, Dr. Tomeski became a nun. A Franciscan nun, to
be exact. And she traveled to Africa to work in the clinics there for several years fighting
malaria, cholera, yellow fever – and all the many tropical diseases that
afflict people there.
I asked her if there wasn’t a lot of
hardship living in these war-torn and disease riddled regions, and she just
smiled, then shrugged and said, “Not as hard as it was for our patients.”
Dr. Tomeski said she didn’t take her
final vows, but returned to the U.S. where she eventually married a professor
of computer engineering. She has a daughter – a beautiful young actress who
does off Broadway plays in New York.
Even so, she remained close to the
church and to this day is a lay Carmelite nun. She goes to Mass every morning and prays for
her patients.
All that is an interesting background,
you say, but what of it? Especially to a guy like you, Allan, whom we all know
is not only not a religious man, but is suspicious of religious organizations.
You’re no doubt thinking, why the hell is Cole telling us all this?
It’s because Dr. Tomeski is the most
gentle and caring doctor I have ever met in my life. Her religion infuses her
every waking hour. I’m not speaking of dogma, but of something that many
self-professed religious people claim to be, but never display in practice.
She sees the human in you. The pain. The
fear. And when she examines you each movement is warm and gentle. She takes
your head in both hands and you feel like you are being blessed as she probes
the glands for signs of weakness. When she says, “Show me your tongue, Allan,”
or listens to your breathing with her stethoscope – directing you to “breathe
deeply, Allan,” her voice and manner are so tender you feel like a small child
who has found a loving place to hide from the fear.
I wanted to close telling you about her
because just to meet such an individual almost makes the ordeal worthwhile.
When I saw her last and was leaving her
office she said, “I pray for you, Allan. I really do. Every single morning.”
And although I do not believe in the
power of prayer, my heart was glad, my spirits bright, when I heard her speak those words.
*****
Here's where to get the paperback & Kindle editions worldwide:
Here's what readers say about Lucky In Cyprus:
- "Bravo, Allan! When I finished Lucky In Cyprus I wept." - Julie Mitchell, Hot Springs, Texas
- "Lucky In Cyprus brought back many memories... A wonderful book. So many shadows blown away!" - Freddy & Maureen Smart, Episkopi,Cyprus.
- "... (Reading) Lucky In Cyprus has been a humbling, haunting, sobering and enlightening experience..." - J.A. Locke, Bookloons.com
*****
NEW: THE AUDIOBOOK VERSION OF
THE HATE PARALLAX
THE HATE PARALLAX: What if the Cold War never ended -- but continued for a thousand years? Best-selling authors Allan Cole (an American) and Nick Perumov (a Russian) spin a mesmerizing "what if?" tale set a thousand years in the future, as an American and a Russian super-soldier -- together with a beautiful American detective working for the United Worlds Police -- must combine forces to defeat a secret cabal ... and prevent a galactic disaster! This is the first - and only - collaboration between American and Russian novelists. Narrated by John Hough. Click the title links below for the trade paperback and kindle editions. (Also available at iTunes.)
*****
THE SPYMASTER'S DAUGHTER:
A new novel by Allan and his daughter, Susan
After laboring as a Doctors Without Borders physician in the teaming refugee camps and minefields of South Asia, Dr. Ann Donovan thought she'd seen Hell as close up as you can get. And as a fifth generation CIA brat, she thought she knew all there was to know about corruption and betrayal. But then her father - a legendary spymaster - shows up, with a ten-year-old boy in tow. A brother she never knew existed. Then in a few violent hours, her whole world is shattered, her father killed and she and her kid brother are one the run with hell hounds on their heels. They finally corner her in a clinic in Hawaii and then all the lies and treachery are revealed on one terrible, bloody storm ravaged night.
BASED ON THE CLASSIC STEN SERIES by Allan Cole & Chris Bunch: Fresh from their mission to pacify the Wolf Worlds, Sten and his Mantis Team encounter a mysterious ship that has been lost among the stars for thousands of years. At first, everyone aboard appears to be long dead. Then a strange Being beckons, pleading for help. More disturbing: the presence of AM2, a strategically vital fuel tightly controlled by their boss - The Eternal Emperor. They are ordered to retrieve the remaining AM2 "at all costs." But once Sten and his heavy worlder sidekick, Alex Kilgour, board the ship they must dare an out of control defense system that attacks without warning as they move through dark warrens filled with unimaginable horrors. When they reach their goal they find that in the midst of all that death are the "seeds" of a lost civilization.
*****
Here's where you can buy it worldwide in both paperback and Kindle editions:
United Kingdom ...........................Spain
Also: NOOK BOOK. Plus ALL E-BOOK FLAVORS.
TALES OF THE BLUE MEANIE
NOW AN AUDIOBOOK!
 |
Venice Boardwalk Circa 1969
|
In the depths of the Sixties and The Days Of Rage, a young newsman, accompanied by his pregnant wife and orphaned teenage brother, creates a Paradise of sorts in a sprawling Venice Beach community of apartments, populated by students, artists, budding scientists and engineers lifeguards, poets, bikers with a few junkies thrown in for good measure. The inhabitants come to call the place “Pepperland,” after the Beatles movie, “Yellow Submarine.” Threatening this paradise is "The Blue Meanie," a crazy giant of a man so frightening that he eventually even scares himself.
*****
